Seven Important Things To Do With Your Parents Before They Die

Time is fleeting and life is short. You have only one life. It is far far too easy to forget the important things, and to miss opportunities in the short moments that they appear before slipping away. In the context of estate planning, it is our privilege and honor to help families establish the legal planning area of their lives for the good of their loved ones. But, in doing so, it is very frequent that we speak to children after their parents have passed away, and we hear regrets about their not having spent time or commitment with their parents.

Those we love are only with us for a short time. We all too often allow many petty grievances or personality conflicts to distract us. In his Facebook post “Processes to go through with your parents before they die,” Daniel Schmachtenberger, founder of the Critical Path Institute, outlined seven simple exercises to use with your parents that can offer significant healing and completion for their life and yours.

While Daniel shared these processes in the context of the impending death of a parent, the reality is that your parents are heading toward death, even if there is no official diagnosis. And starting these processes when mortality isn’t immediately on the table is even better. Here are the six processes that Daniel outlined, along with our commentary and suggestions:

Will Your Estate Plan Actually Work When Your Family Needs It?

If you’re like most people, you likely think estate planning is just one more task to check off of your life’s endless “to-do” list.

You may shop around and find a lawyer to create planning documents for you, or you might try creating your own DIY plan using online documents. Then, you’ll put those documents into a drawer, mentally check estate planning off your to-do list, and forget about them.

The problem is, estate planning is not a one-and-done type of deal.

In fact, if it’s not regularly updated when your assets, family situation, and the laws change, your estate plan will be worthless. What’s more, failing to update your plan can create its own set of problems that can leave your family worse off than if you’d never created a plan at all.

Capturing the Stories of Aging Loved Ones: The Power of a Family Wealth Legacy Interview

May is Senior Citizen’s Month, a time to reflect and appreciate all the things the seniors in our lives have done for us. Whether they are our parents, grandparents, or elderly friends, our seniors have given us so much over the years. But sometimes seeing your loved ones aging or seeing how you’ve aged yourself may remind you of how quickly time passes and how much you wish you could pause life.

When you think about a loved one who has passed away, you probably don’t give much thought to the material things they’ve left you. Maybe you have a piece of their clothing that you sometimes hold close to your heart or a favorite item of theirs displayed proudly on a shelf. But what you value most about that object likely isn’t its monetary worth but the memories it evokes of your loved one and the time you spent together. You wish you could still hear from them, learn from them, and share memories with them.

As a Personal Family Lawyer firm, we know the value of planning for what happens to your financial assets. But we also know that there is something even more valuable to pass on to your loved ones than money – your stories, lessons, insights, and values. While we might not be able to pause time, there are things we can do to preserve the precious memories and lessons of the people we love.

Create a Stronger Blended Family Through Estate Planning

Today, blended families are becoming just as common as non-blended families. Currently, 52% of married couples have a step-kin relationship of some kind, and 4 in 10 new marriages involve remarriage. But that does not obviate the need for cultivation of strong bonds and life-long relationships between the two families that join into one. And historically, in times when life expectancies were much lower, the joining of two parents, who each have children of their own, is nothing new.

If you’re part of a blended family, you’ve probably recognized the extra layer of complexity that comes with planning for your family’s needs and accommodating the many relationships that exist between step-parents, step-kids, and step-siblings. Topics that might be straightforward for another family - such as where to spend the holidays or who gets the old family car - are more complex.

Feelings tend to be more sensitive, as the person in a “step” role may feel self-conscious about their place as the “outsider” with part of the family, whereas on the other hand, one parent’s children may feel put out by the addition of a new step-parent, step-sibling, or half-sibling when their mother or father remarries.

Want to Grow Wealth? Warren Buffet's Unexpected Investment Advice

If you are going to take investment and estate planning advice from anyone, Warren Buffett is likely one you want to consider. As one of the most successful investors in history, his track record speaks for itself. However, his wisdom goes beyond picking stocks and making money.

At this year’s Berkshire Hathaway annual shareholder meeting, Buffett shared several pieces of financial advice but also provided insights on the importance of personal growth and estate planning when seeking to grow wealth. While many of us may feel overwhelmed by the thought of estate planning or building our wealth, Buffett's advice reminds us of two key but simple steps we can take to create financial and generational wealth.

Probate: What It Is & How To Avoid It — Part 2

Unless you’ve created an estate plan that works to keep your family out of court, when you die (or become incapacitated) many of your assets must go through probate before those assets can be distributed to your heirs. Like most court proceedings, probate can be time-consuming, costly, and open to the public, and because of this, avoiding probate — and keeping your family out of court — is often a central goal of estate planning.

To spare your loved one’s the time, cost, and stress inherent to probate, yesterday in part one of this series, we explained how the probate process works and what it would entail for your loved ones. Here in part two, we’ll discuss the major drawbacks of probate for your family, and outline the different ways you can help them avoid probate with wise legal planning.

What to Expect from your Initial Meeting with a Personal Family Lawyer®

Whether you’ve met with an estate planning lawyer before or it’s your first time, it’s important to understand how working with our Personal Family Lawyer® is different from meeting with another typical lawyer from most other law firms.

Here we will explain what’s involved with our process, in hopes that it will inspire you to meet with our firm’s Personal Family Lawyer® and get clear on what your family needs you to have in place, so you don’t leave behind a mess if you become incapacitated or when you die. We promise to help you make the wisest, most affordable, most effective, time-saving plan for yourself and the people you love.

Five Ways DIY Estate Plans Can Fail & Leave Your Family at Risk — Part 2

Without a thorough understanding of your family dynamics, the nature of your assets, and how the legal process works upon your death or incapacity, you are likely to make serious mistakes when creating a DIY estate plan. Even worse, these mistakes won’t be discovered until it’s too late — and the loved ones you were trying to protect will be the very ones forced to clean up your mess or get stuck in a costly and traumatic court process that can drag out for years.

Yesterday, in part one of this series, we covered the first two ways DIY estate plans can fail, and here, we’ll cover the remaining three.

One of the Greatest Gifts to Your Family Is Your Plan for Incapacity

When it comes to estate planning, most people automatically think about taking legal steps to ensure the right people inherit their stuff when they die. Although that is not wrong, it also leaves out a very important piece of planning for life, and perhaps the most critical part of legal planning.

Planning that’s focused solely on who gets what when you die is ignoring the fact that death isn’t the only thing you must prepare for. Rather, consider that at some point before your eventual death, you could be incapacitated by accident or illness.

Like death, each of us is at constant risk of experiencing a devastating accident or disease that renders us incapable of caring for ourselves or our loved ones. But unlike death, which is by definition a final outcome, incapacity comes with an uncertain outcome and timeframe. And yet, statistically, over 80% of us will be incapacitated at some period during our lifetimes.

Four Essential Strategies for Protecting Your Family's Assets

You might think that only the super wealthy need to worry about asset protection planning. But the truth is that if you don’t have millions, you may be at even greater risk. For instance, if you are a multi-millionaire, a $50,000 judgment against you might not be that big of a deal. But for a family with a modest income, savings, and home, it could be devastating.

Furthermore, asset protection planning isn’t something you can put off until something happens. Once you are under threat of a lawsuit, it’s likely too late to protect your assets. Like all types of planning, to be effective, you must have your asset protection strategies in place well before something happens. And your asset protection plan isn’t a one-and-done deal: it must be regularly updated to accommodate changes to your assets, family dynamics, and the law.

While you should meet with our Personal Family Lawyer® to determine the asset protection strategies that are best suited for your particular asset profile and family situation, here are four essential strategies to consider for safeguarding your family’s most valuable assets.

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