Awakened Planning: How to Talk About Estate Planning at Your Family Reunion

July is National Family Reunion Month and the perfect time to reconnect with family from near and far, share life’s updates, and reminisce about the wonderful memories you share together. If you’re getting together with family this month, it’s also a perfect time to talk to your loved ones about your shared goals, family resources and the legacy you want to leave behind for the next generation.

You might think that estate planning is too somber a topic for a happy family reunion, but it can actually be an opportunity to bring you closer to your loved ones by giving everyone time to speak openly about their wishes for the family and can help everyone feel unified by working together toward the family’s future wellbeing.

Not sure how to bring up estate planning in a way that makes your family feel empowered? Keep reading to learn how to navigate the conversation without scaring away party guests!

Four Reasons Why You Can't Afford to Go Without an Estate Plan

When it comes to putting off or refusing to create an estate plan, your mind can concoct all sorts of rationalizations: “I won’t care because I’ll be dead,” “I’m too young,” “That won’t happen to me,” or “My family will know what to do.”

But these thoughts all come from a mix of pride, denial, and above all, a lack of real education about estate planning and the consequences to your family of not planning. Once you understand exactly how planning is designed to work and what it protects against, you’ll realize there is no acceptable excuse for not having a plan.

Indeed, the first step in creating a proper plan is to thoroughly understand the potential consequences of going without one. In the event of your death or incapacity, not having a plan could be incredibly traumatic and costly for both you and your family, who will be forced to deal with the mess you’ve left behind.

While each estate and family are unique, here are some of the things most likely to happen to you and your loved ones if you fail to create a plan.

Seven Important Things To Do With Your Parents Before They Die

Time is fleeting and life is short. You have only one life. It is far far too easy to forget the important things, and to miss opportunities in the short moments that they appear before slipping away. In the context of estate planning, it is our privilege and honor to help families establish the legal planning area of their lives for the good of their loved ones. But, in doing so, it is very frequent that we speak to children after their parents have passed away, and we hear regrets about their not having spent time or commitment with their parents.

Those we love are only with us for a short time. We all too often allow many petty grievances or personality conflicts to distract us. In his Facebook post “Processes to go through with your parents before they die,” Daniel Schmachtenberger, founder of the Critical Path Institute, outlined seven simple exercises to use with your parents that can offer significant healing and completion for their life and yours.

While Daniel shared these processes in the context of the impending death of a parent, the reality is that your parents are heading toward death, even if there is no official diagnosis. And starting these processes when mortality isn’t immediately on the table is even better. Here are the six processes that Daniel outlined, along with our commentary and suggestions:

The Six Things You Should NOT Include In Your Will

A will is one of the most basic estate planning tools. While relying solely on a will is rarely a suitable option for most people, just about every estate plan includes this key document in one form or another.

A will is used to designate how you want your assets distributed to your surviving loved ones upon your death. If you die without a will, state law governs how your assets are distributed, which may or may not be in line with your wishes.

That said, not all assets can (or should) be included in your will. For this reason, it’s important for you to understand which assets you should put in your will and which assets you should include in other planning documents like trusts.

While you should always consult with an experienced planning professional like us when creating your will, here are a few of the different types of assets that should not be included in your will.

Will Your Estate Plan Actually Work When Your Family Needs It?

If you’re like most people, you likely think estate planning is just one more task to check off of your life’s endless “to-do” list.

You may shop around and find a lawyer to create planning documents for you, or you might try creating your own DIY plan using online documents. Then, you’ll put those documents into a drawer, mentally check estate planning off your to-do list, and forget about them.

The problem is, estate planning is not a one-and-done type of deal.

In fact, if it’s not regularly updated when your assets, family situation, and the laws change, your estate plan will be worthless. What’s more, failing to update your plan can create its own set of problems that can leave your family worse off than if you’d never created a plan at all.

Protect Your Family From Wealth's Dark Side with a Lifetime Asset Protection Trust

When you create your estate plan, the idea that one of your adult children would ever use their inheritance to bankroll a cult is probably something you’d never dream of, much less anticipate. Yet that’s exactly what 40-year-old Clare Bronfman, heiress to the multi-billion-dollar Seagram’s fortune, did with hers. In the end, her inheritance — and the power that came with it — led her down a dark path that seems almost too outlandish to be true.

In May of 2019, Clare pled guilty to felony charges of harboring an illegal alien and fraudulent use of a deceased person’s identity as part of a plea deal with federal prosecutors. The charges stem from her role as an executive board member of Nxivm (pronounced NEX-ee-um), a group that prosecutors described as a “deeply manipulative pyramid scheme” that forced some of its members to endure slave-like conditions and even have sex with the group’s leader and founder, Keith Raniere.

Had she gone to trial for her involvement with Nxivm, Clare would have faced up to 25 years in prison. But given her plea, on September 30, 2020, she was only sentenced to 6 years, 9 months in prison. Following Clare’s plea, Raniere, 58, was found guilty in June on seven felony counts, including racketeering and sex trafficking. On October 27, 2020, Raniere was sentenced to 120 years incarceration in federal prison and a $1.75 million fine. His conviction comes following a six-week trial that exposed the world to Nxivm’s sordid inner workings and put wealth’s dark side on full display.

Online Wills? When You Should, When You Shouldn't, and Where to Do It

With all of the media about “digital wills” and “online estate planning” it could be tempting to think you can do your estate planning yourself, online. And, maybe you can. But, if you do, you need to know the potential pitfalls. Online estate planning could be a big trap for the unwary and actually leave your family worse off than if you had done nothing at all.

First and foremost, before you do any of your own online estate planning, it’s critical to understand your family dynamics, the nature of your assets, and what the state would say should happen to your assets if something happens to you. You see, whether or not you do estate planning, the state does have a plan for your assets if you become incapacitated or when you die. You need to know what that plan is, so you know whether or not you want to change it.

A good start on getting educated is this one hour training with estate planning attorney Ali Katz, which clarifies what you can and should do yourself, for free, online. The easy-to-watch training gives you access to a free online tool that you can use to create the one thing that would be most important for your family: a “treasure map” listing everything you own, where it is, and how your loved ones can access it. This tool is free to use, and creating your own personal resource map will be a valuable resource for the people you love.

Estate Planning Must-Haves for Single Parents

If you are a single parent, life for you right now probably couldn’t get any busier. You are likely being pulled between work, school activities, and home — and the inevitable emergencies that fill the lives of single parents everywhere.

Being a single parent is a huge responsibility, even if you do share time with a parenting partner, and especially so if you don’t. Regardless, as a single parent, your children’s lives are now largely in your hands. So what would happen to them if something happened to you? Who would take care of them? Who would pay for their housing and food? Who would pay for their education? These are questions you need to get answered, and the best way to do that is through estate planning.

Having an estate plan that covers the care of your children in case you should be in a severe accident, fall ill, or die provides peace of mind for the single parent. It is worth knowing that everything and everyone you love is taken care of.

Here are the must-haves that can protect your children if something were to ever happen to you:

Six Tips For Finding a Lost Old 401(k)

Unfortunately, for many it is now true that the days of working for a single employer for decades until you retire are over. Today, you are much more likely to change jobs multiple times during your career. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, today’s workers have held an average of 12 jobs by the time they reach their 50s.

Since people change jobs so frequently, it is easy to see you might lose track of an old 401(k) or retirement account, especially if you only worked in a position for a short time. In fact, forgetting plans is quite common: it’s estimated that roughly 900,000 workers lose track of their 401(k) plans each year. And when you forget to cash out your 401(k) upon leaving a job, your former employer might no longer have control of your account.

Even if the company you worked for is still up and running, businesses terminate 401(k) plans all the time, especially during economic downturns. The company is required by law to contact you if they terminate the plan, but if they can’t locate you, the money can be transferred to a bank, rolled into an IRA, or even sent to the state’s unclaimed property fund.

If you’re looking to increase your retirement savings, one way to start is to make sure you haven’t lost or forgotten about any old accounts. Here are six tips for tracking down a missing 401(k).

Finance, Estate PlanningStephen PennerJune 6, 2023Family Wealth Inventory, Retirement, 401(K)s

Why Seniors and Their Families Should Be Wary of Reverse Mortgages - Part 2

In the first part of this series, we discussed the dangers of reverse mortgages for senior homeowners. Here, we’ll look at how these complex loans can negatively impact your family and estate plan.

For decades, reverse mortgages have been touted as an easy way for seniors to access extra money during retirement. Indeed, there was a time not too long ago when it was nearly impossible to watch TV without seeing at least one commercial extolling the benefits of these unique mortgages.

Yet, reverse mortgages turned out to be a financial disaster for many senior homeowners and their families. Tens of thousands of retirees lost their homes to foreclosure after defaulting on what was promised to be a “risk-free” way to convert the equity in their homes into cash.

Moreover, reverse mortgages were aggressively marketed mainly to low-income homeowners, who possessed minimal financial assets outside of the equity in their homes—the very people most likely to default. And though the federal government has recently enacted new laws to better protect seniors, reverse mortgages are still being hyped as a safe way for retirees to obtain much-needed cash.

Estate Planning, FinanceStephen PennerJune 6, 2023Reverse Mortgages, Your Home

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